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"You thought I MURDERED him, and loved me still," she said. "You
thought I murdered him, and still you shielded me, and gave me
chance to live, and to repent, and know love's highest sweetness.
You thought I murdered him, and yet your soul had mercy. Now do I
believe in God, for only a God could make a heart so noble."
"And you--did not--" cried out Anne, and raised upon her elbow, her
breast panting, but her eyes growing wide with light as from stars
from heaven. "Oh, sister love--thanks be to Christ who died!"
The duchess rose, and stood up tall and great, her arms out-thrown.
"I think 'twas God Himself who did it," she said, "though 'twas I
who struck the blow. He drove me mad and blind, he tortured me, and
thrust to my heart's core. He taunted me with that vile thing
Nature will not let women bear, and did it in my Gerald's name,
calling on him. And then I struck with my whip, knowing nothing,
not seeing, only striking, like a goaded dying thing. He fell--he
fell and lay there--and all was done!"
"But not with murderous thought--only through frenzy and a cruel
chance--a cruel, cruel chance. And of your own will blood is not
upon your hand," Anne panted, and sank back upon her pillow.
"With deepest oaths I swear," Clorinda said, and she spoke through
her clenched teeth, "if I had not loved, if Gerald had not been my
soul's life and I his, I would have stood upright and laughed in his
face at the devil's threats. Should I have feared? You know me.
Was there a thing on earth or in heaven or hell I feared until love
rent me. 'Twould but have fired my blood, and made me mad with fury
that dares all. 'Spread it abroad!' I would have cried to him.
'Tell it to all the world, craven and outcast, whose vileness all
men know, and see how I shall bear myself, and how I shall drive
through the town with head erect. As I bore myself when I set the
rose crown on my head, so shall I bear myself then. And you shall
see what comes!' This would I have said, and held to it, and
gloried. But I knew love, and there was an anguish that I could not
endure--that my Gerald should look at me with changed eyes, feeling
that somewhat of his rightful meed was gone. And I was all
distraught and conquered. Of ending his base life I never thought,
never at my wildest, though I had thought to end my own; but when
Fate struck the blow for me, then I swore that carrion should not
taint my whole life through. It should not--should not--for 'twas
Fate's self had doomed me to my ruin. And there it lay until the
night; for this I planned, that being of such great strength for a
woman, I could bear his body in my arms to the farthest of that
labyrinth of cellars I had commanded to be cut off from the rest and
closed; and so I did when all were sleeping--but you, poor Anne--but
you! And there I laid him, and there he lies to-day--an evil thing
turned to a handful of dust."
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