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|Right Ho, Jeeves||P. G. Wodehouse|
|Page 1 of 6||
"Jeeves," I said.
"I've just been having a chat with young Tuppy, Jeeves. Did you happen to notice that he wasn't looking very roguish this morning?"
"Yes, sir. It seemed to me that Mr. Glossop's face was sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought."
"Quite. He met my cousin Angela in the larder last night, and a rather painful interview ensued."
"I am sorry, sir."
"Not half so sorry as he was. She found him closeted with a steak-and-kidney pie, and appears to have been a bit caustic about fat men who lived for food alone."
"Most disturbing, sir."
"Very. In fact, many people would say that things had gone so far between these two nothing now could bridge the chasm. A girl who could make cracks about human pythons who ate nine or ten meals a day and ought to be careful not to hurry upstairs because of the danger of apoplectic fits is a girl, many people would say, in whose heart love is dead. Wouldn't people say that, Jeeves?"
"They would be wrong."
"You think so, sir?"
"I am convinced of it. I know these females. You can't go by what they say."
"You feel that Miss Angela's strictures should not be taken too much au pied de la lettre, sir?"
"In English, we should say 'literally'."
"Literally. That's exactly what I mean. You know what girls are. A tiff occurs, and they shoot their heads off. But underneath it all the old love still remains. Am I correct?"
"Quite correct, sir. The poet Scott----"
"Right ho, Jeeves."
"Very good, sir."
"And in order to bring that old love whizzing to the surface once more, all that is required is the proper treatment."
"By 'proper treatment,' sir, you mean----"
"Clever handling, Jeeves. A spot of the good old snaky work. I see what must be done to jerk my Cousin Angela back to normalcy. I'll tell you, shall I?"
"If you would be so kind, sir."
I lit a cigarette, and eyed him keenly through the smoke. He waited respectfully for me to unleash the words of wisdom. I must say for Jeeves that--till, as he is so apt to do, he starts shoving his oar in and cavilling and obstructing--he makes a very good audience. I don't know if he is actually agog, but he looks agog, and that's the great thing.
"Suppose you were strolling through the illimitable jungle, Jeeves, and happened to meet a tiger cub."
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|Right Ho, Jeeves
P. G. Wodehouse
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